Oh, Really?
by Daddy Long Leggs
Summary: Concerning the comical tale of James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Lily Evans, and other funny friends. Rated T for hormone induced comic situations.
1. Preparation and Leaving for the Platform

Oh, Really?

**Disclaimer: **As I'm not JRK, nothing except the plot is mine, guys. Seriously. NOTHING BUT THE PLOT. Well off we go…  
**A/N: **I didn't like the way I wrote the story to begin with- it just wasn't going the way I wanted it to. So I'm rewriting it. Hope you like!

Preparation and Leaving For The Platform

_Omniscient P.O.V._

Lily Evans was sitting in her house, twirling her thick red hair around her finger, watching her big black and white dog Sousa playing with her big tomcat, Bumble. They were taking turns chasing each other. 'Although they look as though they're fighting now,' Lily thought to herself, 'they'll take a nap together later.' Smiling to herself, she got up and went to her bedroom, where she zipped up her suitcase. She was getting ready to leave her house in London for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Playing with her mother's ring, she surveyed her room, making sure that she hadn't forgotten anything. She had- right on her dresser laid her prefect's badge. She picked it up and put in the front pocket of her jeans (as the back right was already holding her wand) so that when she changed at school, she could have it ready.

She heard movement in her parlor. 'That'll be Emily,' she thought to herself. She grabbed the handle of her dark purple suitcase and carried it over to the door. Lily saw another trunk, bright red, at the door as well. On top was a black hawk owl, named Tally, that belonged to Emily sitting in its cage. Lily turned around and looked into her kitchen, where she saw none other than her best friend Emily sitting at her kitchen, eating the cookies that Lily had just made.

"Emily, love, why don't we let Tally out so he can fly to school?" Lily asked.

Nodding, Emily turned around and said, "Lily, don't you usually leave your packing until the last minute?"

"Yes, but this year, since… Well I thought it would be better to do it sooner rather than later this year…" Lily trailed off, leaving an awkward silence after her words.

The truth was that Lily remembered her mother badgering her to pack her clothes long before the 'last minute.' That was at the beginning of her fifth year at Hogwarts. Before she had found out that her parents had been killed by Voldemort's Death Eaters. They had left her everything that they owned, excepting the old silver Lincoln car that Petunia, Lily's younger sister, had always admired- and a good sum of money so that Petunia could get wherever it was that she wanted to go before she got a job.

Lily, who had been lost in thought, jumped about a foot in the air when there came a sudden yelp from the kitchen. When she rushed in to see what the problem was, she saw that Sousa had allowed Bumble to pounce on top of him, and had a look on his face of the uttermost puzzlement, as though he had no idea how he had gotten into such predicament.

Emily and Lily, who had been watching, began laughing at them.

"Alright then, you two. We're about to go." Turning to Emily, who still had a grin on her face, she asked, "Emily, how does twenty minutes sound to you?"

"Sounds perfect." Emily got up to let Tally out of her cage. As she walked to the door, she asked, "Lily, how often do you think that you'll have to do corridors this year?"

"I'm not sure, why do you ask?"

Emily opened the door so that she could Tally out and said, "Well it seemed that last year you did it quite a lot, and I was just thinking that this year, I could get some more help on homework, because I nearly failed astronomy last year. And I thought that you could help me, because I had quite a difficult time with the charts last year. Do you remember how many reference books I had checked out?"

"Yeah, something about twenty, wasn't it? And you kept trying to check out new ones every week, yeah, I remember." Lily had just been able to coax Bumble into an oversized picnic basket padded with blankets and turned to Sousa so that she could put on his leash.

"Yes, well. Madam Pince sent me a letter specially telling me that I would not be able to do that." Replied Emily, looking sheepish.

"Emily! I'm surprised at you! You should know better than to take that lying down! If you need thirty books to pass astronomy, so be it! I will march you down to the library myself and help you carry each and every one of thirty books to the common room!"

"That's not exactly what I was getting at-" mumbled Emily.

"Come on, Emily. Or we'll be late to the Hogwarts Express."

Emily reluctantly got up and went over to the door to gather her things, putting her scarf, gloves, and hat back on. Lily joined her only moments later, and they set off for platform nine and three quarters.

At 7:45 AM, James Potter was in his bed, fast asleep, dreaming about Quidditch, the wizard sport. He saw the snitch! He was racing to get it, it was almost in his hands when suddenly, a bludger (one of the balls in the game) hit him square in the face and knocked him off of his broom to the ground.

"ARGH!" Yelled James as he hit the floor, landing on his stomach.

"Sorry, mate, we're late! We've got about ten minutes to get to the train!" Replied Sirius fervently.

James ran his fingers through his black hair, donned his glasses, rolled over to his back, and opened his hazel to see his best friend standing over him with a bar of soap in his hands.

Looking pointedly at the soap, James interrogated, "Sirius, you didn't hit me with that did you?" upon seeing the soap, James had thought of Sirius' antics, knowing that it was most probable that he had been hit in the face with said bar of soap.

Sirius shoved the soap behind his back and said in a terrible fake innocent voice, "What? Hit you with what? I didn't hit you, mate."

"Sirius, just put the soap away, alright?" Suggested James from the ground, still not having gotten up yet.

"Fine…" Sirius shook his shoulder length hair out of his face so that it framed his face in a relaxed, gaunt and elegant way, and deposited the soap into the pocket that did not already hold his wand.

"Oh good lord, Sirius…" James shook his head and got up. He put his bed together, put on clothes, and yelled, "MUM! I NEED HELP!"

James waited a few seconds until he heard his mother's distant voice, "Why? Has Sirius got your underwear stuck to the ceiling again?"

Smirking at James, Sirius chimed, "No! We've got to get the train in about five minutes and I still haven't packed!"

They heard footsteps on the marble stairs of the Potter mansion and, sure enough, a few seconds later Mrs. Potter's face appeared in the doorway. She put her wand into the roomed and said, "_Pack_!" And everything Sirius owned flew into his suitcase. "Good, boys? Come eat some breakfast!"

James' heart sank. He loved his mother's cooking. "Mum, we've got to be at the train station, like, now."

Mrs. Potter looked at her watch, jumped a bit and said, "Oh dear, I lost track of the time! Well. let me just call your father over, and we can apparate right onto the platform, no?" Upon seeing their faces, she laughed and added, "Apparition isn't that bad, and it'll be better on an empty stomach anyway. Come along now, get everything over to the entryway."

While Mrs. Potter was off to get her husband, James and Sirius moved their things to the entryway- with much difficulty, as there were not only the trunks, but their Quidditch Brooms, and James' owl, Richard.

When they'd finally gotten everything down the stairs, they had five minutes to go.  
James let Richard out through the window, as he would most likely NOT like apparition.  
Mr. and Mrs. Potter came rushing into the room. Mr. Potter gave James and Sirius a stern look, and they, feeling sufficiently ashamed, blushed and began to mumble their apologies to the Potters.

Mr. Potter only laughed and said, "It's quite alright boys. Let's go before it's too late." He took hold of James and Sirius saw them disapparated to the platform. Sirius looked at Mrs. Potter, and she held out her arm for Sirius to take, which he did. He closed his eyes and held his breath, and he felt the terrible tube-like, rushing feeling that apparition gave. When he opened his eyes, he was on platform 9 ¾.

James, who was already on the train with his things, was looking out of the entrance for Sirius, who saw James looking for him and, having thanked Mrs. Potter, ran to James with his things.

As soon as Sirius had reached the train, he and James set out to find the compartment with Peter and Remus, their other friends.


	2. Alyssa DeHarpisknot Scuzzballs

**Disclaimer: **I'm not JKR, I don't own the characters that she made up, etc., etc., you know the drill.

Alyssa DeHarpisknot and Taking Care Of Scuzzballs

_Omniscient__ P.O.V_

'Finally!' James thought. He had just found the compartment which held Remus and Peter, despite what seemed like ages of looking.

"James! Sirius! You're here at last!" cried Peter. His eyes were just as watery as usual, his teeth just as bucked, his nose just as pointy and odd- though it seemed he had grown shorter and chubbier since James and Sirius had last seen him at the end of term last year.

James sat down as he replied, "Hi, Pete. How've you been? Did you enjoy your summer?"

Peter, who seemed overjoyed that James had spoken to him, said, "All fine, all fine. And you, Sirius?"

Sirius, who had begun to play a game of exploding snap with Peter, looked at James oddly before replying to Peter, addressing him by his nickname, "Hullo, Wormtail. My summer was fine; I spent it with James at his parents' house."

Remus looked up and said, "How did you avoid spending it at home?"

An incredulous look spread across Sirius' face, and he replied, "I left, idiot. How else do you think I got away from that horrendous place?"

Remus just rolled his eyes and looked at James, asking, "When did he go to your place?"  
James, who thought Remus looked a bit concerned, smiled sarcastically and said, "I woke up one morning in the middle of July on toasty warm marble floor." Losing the sarcasm he continued, "I looked up on my bed, and Sirius was there, with his bags and everything. So I just went downstairs and slept on my couch." Sirius, who had sat down opposite Peter while James was explaining, nodded to confirm this.

James chuckled and looked at Sirius, who laughed at James' good spirit and turned back to playing Exploding Snap with Peter.

Remus, who had begun reading his book, looked at his watch and started. "Ay! I've got to get to the prefects' meeting… I'm nearly late." Eyeing Sirius and James he added, "You two at least try not to get into too much trouble until I get back… Heaven knows what I'm asking, but please… try?"

"Good lord, Moony!" Moony was Remus' usual nickname, as he was a werewolf at the full moon. Light brown hair, dark brown eyes- quite a handsome boy indeed. As these thoughts crossed James' mind, he replied innocently, "I thought you trusted Sirius and I!"  
"Oh, really?" Remus gave them his look…

Sirius looked at Moony, rolled his eyes and said, "Moony, would you just go off to your meeting? We'll see you later."

"Jaaaaamesssss…." Sirius groaned complainingly.  
"What, Sirius?" James replied shortly.

"Are we almost there yet?" Sirius continued in the same irritating complaining voice.

"YES, Sirius! For the umpteenth time, we are nearly there!" Sirius was beginning to hear the exasperation show in James' voice.

"Why don't you just go get dressed?" asked Sirius.

"I dunno, I don't feel like it?"

"Why are you asking me questions! School hasn't even started yet!"  
"Oh good god, Sirius. I think I will go change, just to shut you up!"

"Alright." Sirius smiled smugly. "Where did Wormtail go, have you any idea?"  
"No, mate. I'm gonna go now. You should change too, while I'm gone."

James proceeded to leave the compartment, thinking about how odd Sirius was. As he changed, he thought about everything that he would possibly need to know for his first day of classes. He couldn't remember a thing. 'Ah well. It'll probably all come back to me at the last possible second. As usual.' James rolled his eyes at the thought.

When he had the changed and started back towards the compartment, he found the door to be locked shut. Wondering what was up, he knocked and heard a muffled, "Mmmfgh!"

James chuckled and tried to open the door by jiggling it (which almost always does the trick), but it wouldn't budge. Worried now, he asked, "Sirius, mate! Are you in there?" When there was no response, James became even more worried. He tried again pushing the door open, this time with even more force, and he even tried throwing his full weight against the thing, but it didn't work.

"Get away from the door, or you will get hurt!" James cried to whoever was in the compartment, full on panicking now. Pointing his wand at the door, James cried, "_Bombarda!_"

When the door had been blasted open and flew off its hinges, James saw a very affronted looking girl sitting on top of a very frightened looking Sirius. She had quite plain features, with black hair, brown eyes, white skin, and was slightly overweight. Her dark purple lipstick was smeared all over her and Sirius' faces.

James said surprisedly, "What exactly is going on here? I'm quite sure that I'm not sure, but I do have a reasonably good-"

Sirius mouthed, "Help me!" With a most frightened look.

"hu…uh…unch? Oh my, I think I know exactly what's going on here. And, uh, you need to stop it. Er, now." James finished with a slightly hesitant air.

Alyssa DeHarpisknot, the girl sitting on Sirius, piped up. "I don't think it's any of your business what we're doing in here! It's obvious that we were doing something, isn't it?" Behind her Sirius shook his head vigorously, still looking terrified.

"Good gracious, what did I tell you _just _before I left, Sirius? What on earth is going on here?" Remus asked, quite horrified.

All at once, Alyssa, Sirius and James launched into explanations about exactly what was going on there. Looking confused, Remus then cried, "Stop, all of you stop talking now!"

"!" Peter had also walked into the compartment and had begun to scream like a frightened third grade girl.

The commotion stopped and everyone stared at Pete.

"What on earth did you do that for, stupid wanker?" Cried Sirius.

"I just thought I'd join in on the fun… you all seemed to be having fun talking over each other. I thought it was a game. Wasn't it a game, Remus?"

Remus, at this point looking slightly concerned, turned to face the boy and said "_No, _Peter. Now, Sirius, what on _earth_ is go-

_**BANG**_

The sound was so loud that it shook the entire train compartment. Remus' face nearly fell. "Oh my. I'll have to go fix that, won't I." Remus sighed heavily. "You three sort out your problem while I'm gone. Please." With _please_ he looked at Sirius meaningfully.

As Alyssa DeHarpisknot was still sitting on him, Sirius mumbled, "Oh geroffme you stupid broad," and pushed her off of his lap.

James chuckled as he pointed his wand at her and nodded his head towards the door. "Go on dear. There's a good lass," as she went for the door.

When she reached it, she turned around and said, "Sirius, my sweetheart, you will _never_ need to worry about escaping my love again." And she left.

Sirius looked at James with a horrified expression and whispered, "Don't let her touch me mate. She's a frightening creature. She tried to kill me, I swear it."

All James did was smile, point his wand at Sirius' face and say "_Scourgio__._"

_Lily P.O.V._

_BANG!_

'Oh dear.' I thought to myself. 'I suppose I'll have to fix that. And to think that all I wanted to do was to buy a Pumpkin Pasty.'

I walked towards the noise to find out what had made the bang. It took me a few moments to find where it had come from, but I found the compartment. As I was pointing my wand at it, Remus came up next to me from the other direction, and said, "Ah, so you found the bang. I couldn't, I looked in every compartment on my way over here. Some idiot who bought one to many Zonko's products, no doubt."

I simply smiled and nodded, and pointed my wand at the door, and Remus did the same.

"Er, perhaps we should knock first?" I looked to Remus for his opinion. He just chuckled.

"Always the polite one, aren't you Lily." Smiling, he knocked on the door.

No response.

"Well, we can't harm anyone if no one is in there, can we?" I asked. I pointed my wand at the door, "_Bombarda maxima." _I said it quietly for some reason. The door flew open, came off of its hinges, and hit someone. Hard, from the crunching noise and yell that I heard.

"Oh dear, Remus look what I've done!" I didn't know why I did it in the first place. I knew that I could have hurt someone.

Remus and I ran in and took the door off of the someone that we- I, really- blasted the door into. When I saw who it was, my jaw hit the floor.

None other than Severus Snape sat up, and spat blood out of his mouth.

"You filthy Mudblood, watch what you're doing!"

In response, I only pointed my wand at his greasy hair, smiled, said, "_Scourgio._" I turned around and walked away. As I went I muttered to myself, "Stupid scuzzball."

Behind me, I heard, "_Episkey,_" and a crunching sound. I smiled in spite of knowing Severus was experiencing pain.

Remus came out of the room and jogged to catch up with me. "Lily, he was bang out of order. He shouldn't have called you that."

"I know Remus. I'm all right, I suppose. I think we're nearly there. You should probably go and catch up with James and Sirius." I smiled at him. "Have fun alright? I'll see you later." I walked off to get to the sweets trolley, and then join Emily in our compartment.

My, what an eventful 20 minutes. I sighed. "Lily, dear, what have you gotten yourself into?"


	3. Slip Ups and Petty Excuses

**Disclaimer:** As you all know, I own none of this. J.K.R. does. Nothing changed from last time I posted a chapter. (:

**Slip ups and Petty Excuses**

_Omniscient P.O.V._

James Potter was finished cleaning his best friend's face of purple lipstick and was walking towards the front of the train to see when they would actually arrive at Hogwarts. It seemed as though the train ride would never end. Not because it was actually a long train ride, but because Sirius refused to stop asking when they would get there.

As he was walking up, he passed the sweets trolley. He tried to squeeze by, but he ended up tripping on one of the wheels. As he was falling, he grabbed on to what he thought was a compartment door handle.

It turned out that what James thought was a compartment door handle was actually a person's arm. They fell together, and the person whose arm he had grabbed shrieked with terror.

James put on his glasses, which had come off in the fall, looked down towards his chest to see whose fall he had broken.

James cursed. It was Lily Evans. "I'm sorry,I didn't mean to grab you like that. It was an accident, I swear it." James looked down and saw that it was Lily Evans.

Lily sat up and looked at who had pulled her down. When she saw who it was, her faced turned red and she slapped him across the face.

James, who had just sat up, put his hand to his face. "I said I was sorry, good lord! You didn't need to do all that!"

"Oh, yes I did. You're so arrogant, you think you can fake falling just to grab me, but it won't work! You're normally so graceful on your feet, but-"

"What?" James was so confused! Lily Evans hated him!

"What?" She asked in return

"But you just said-"

"I'm quite sure I don't know what you're talking about. Now if you'll excuse me." Lily got up, walked into her compartment, and slammed the door.

James, who still felt the sting of her slap, got up and continued on his walk to the front of the train.

"! When will we get there?"  
"For the umpteenth time, Sirius, I don't know!" cried Remus. "You know, you're not usually this irritating on the train. Why are you in such a rush to get back?"

Sirius shrugged. He was very bored and very tired. He felt as though his life was lived by someone much older than a sixteen year old boy.

Remus looked at Sirius. Normally, he would get some sort of sarcastic remark. 'Perhaps this is just one of Sirius' moods again,' thought Remus. He couldn't quite place the look on Sirius' face. He decided to let it go at that for now, and thought nothing more of it until they got back to Hogwarts.

Lily and Emily walked towards the horseless carriages together in silence. Sousa was walking with Lily on his leash, and Lily was carrying Bumble on her arm. It seemed as though all in the party felt as though it had been a long day, and were now simply enjoying each other's presence in silence. Lily appreciated that about Emily- that they could sit together in silence, and not have it be tense or awkward. Just quiet.

As Lily thought about this, she felt a nudge on her arm, and Emily pointed at an empty carriage. Lily smiled, nodded, and they walked there and got in together. Lily put Bumble's basket in first, and Sousa jumped up after her.

Lily looked at the front of the carriage. "Don't you always wonder what pulls these things?" Lily asked.

"Of course I do. I think we ought to make it an objective this year to find out what really pulls the carriages." Emily smiled pointedly at Lily.

Lily rolled her eye, but grinned. "And by we, of course you mean me."

"Yes, that is exactly what I meant. I'm so glad you can understand my language, Lily."

"Of course, that's what I'm here f- AGH!" Lily shrieked in surprise, and Emily jumped because someone had just jumped up on the carriage with them.

Still in shock, Lily said to the boy, "Xenophelius! How nice of you to join us… so unexpectedly!"

As Xenophelius Lovegood tied his waist length dirty blond hair back, his crooked blue eyes seemed to be pointed in Lily's general direction. "Oh, hello Lily Evans and Emily Pollett of Gryffindor."

"Hullo!" chimed Emily in her best fake cheery voice as the carriage began to move.

Emily and Lily shared a look and kept silent in the hopes that Xeno would follow their example.

No such luck.

"Is it alright if I show you girls a knitted replica of my latest discovery?"

'Oh dear,' Lily thought, 'he sounds excited.'

"Of course we would love to see it, Xeno," cried Emily. Lily looked at Emily pointedly. Emily shrugged, and looked back at Xenophelius.

He pulled out what looked quite similar to a knitted version of the erumpet, and shoved it in front of Emily's line of vision.

"Oh! You saw an erumpet this sum-"

"Oh no! This is no mere erumpet! This is a _crumple- horned snorkak._"

Emily obtained a very odd look, and glanced to Lily for help. Lily knew he was off, but decided to go along with it. "A- a crumple- horned snorkak? My, I've never heard of one of those before! What does it do?"

"_Well_, for starters, it works well for decoration. I plan to one day take the horn from one and put it on my wall, but that won't be until I've got-"

"Oh look, we're here!" cried Emily with a hint of sarcasm in her voice. "Sorry, Xeno, but I'm just so hungry. I really hope there's pudding at the feast. See you around school, alright?" And she jumped out of the carriage and practically ran off to the castle.

"Well I think that your crumple- horned snorkak is very interesting, Xeno. Why don't you take it up with our defense against the dark arts teacher this year, and see what he's got to say about it?"

Xenophelius just looked at Lily with his crooked blue eyes. "Lily Evans, you are very kind indeed. But you are also very strange. I hope you have a very good school year, for I do not doubt that things will be very different."  
Now Lily was uncomfortable.

"Oh, really? Well. I'd better catch up with Emily." She put her hand on his shoulder. "I hope you have a good school year too, Xeno." And with that, she got out of the carriage and walked towards the castle, thinking all the way about what could possibly change this year that hadn't already.

Sirius Black was walking along towards the school between James and Remus when he heard a quiet huffing noise behind him.

"Hold up, I think Wormtail is coming up behind us." And he turned around.

"Sirius, Remus, James, my friends, hullo!"

"Where have you been all afternoon, Peter?" asked Remus interestedly.

"Well, actually, I just got lost while I was inside the train. I went looking for you, but then I got to the end of the train, and then I went to the front of the train, and you weren't in either place, so I just sat in an empty compartment until the train ride was over.

"Wormtail, you could have come back to the compartment with Sirius and I!" cried James. "You know, I worry about you sometimes, Pete. You should be more careful getting around from now on. You can't go getting yourself lost anymore."

Peter thought that James, Sirius, and Remus had swallowed his lie excellently, and assumed that he would not need to revisit the issue until he had to make up another excuse.

As the four friends were walking towards the castle feast together, Remus was thinking about what Peter said about getting lost. 'As though I'm going to swallow that lot of garble. Peter is up to something, and for some reason he wants to hide it from us.' Remus continued musing to himself about what was going on with Peter until they reached the Great Hall, and went to the feast. Remus allowed for the subject to go to the back of his mind… for now.

Lily had eaten spicy food at the feast. Not because she particularly cared for spicy food, but because she wanted spicy food just then. She realized that she had not had any in a very long time, and wanted to try it again.

Now that she was back in her dormitory trying to fall asleep, however, she couldn't.

"Oh good lord," she mumbled to herself. "I may as well stay up and do something until I fall asleep."

Lily threw off her blankets, sat up, and looked over at Sousa and Bumble's bed where the two were curled up together. She smiled lightly upon remembering how she had originally had two beds, but then had to buy an altogether new bed that was big enough for Sousa and Bumble to sleep in together.

Suddenly, Lily got an idea. She went over to Sousa and Bumble and woke them up.

"Want to play outside?" Sousa just looked up at her as though to say no, growled lightly, and put his head back down next to Bumble.

"Well. I don't think I'll get to sleep tonight. I might as well go outside alone then. Maybe while I'm out I could write a letter to-" and then she stopped.

She could not write a letter to the people she was thinking about because they were dead.

She glanced at her watch. 11:45. Excellent.

Lily got dressed in warm clothes, walked down the stairs into the common room, and left through the portrait hole.


	4. Emergency Trips and Secret Plans

**Disclaimer:**I own nothing but the plot, blah blah blah, etc. etc. etc.

You know how it goes.

**Emergency Trip and Secret Plans**

_Omniscient P.O.V._

One Remus J. Lupin was sitting at the Gryffindor table in the Dining Hall. Not only was he sitting, of course, but was pushing his eggs around his plate and thinking. He was thinking about Peter's poor excuse for his absence yesterday. Peter had left just after him, he was sure of it. But that didn't come close to explaining why Peter had been gone all day. Perhaps Peter really had been lost. But then why wouldn't he have just kept looking for the correct compartment? Of course, the poor boy was daft… but was he really so daft that he wouldn't look for a compartment with his friends?

Remus thought back to the least possible events that could have been linked to Peter's day long disappearance- it was hardly ever the most likely, so he figured he would start with the logically unlikely. There was only one, and it involved a boy who, in Remus' opinion, needed to be introduced to shampoo.

Lots of shampoo. At once.

Peter wouldn't go to the dark side like Snivelly obviously had. He wasn't quite smart enough. And he seemed to be too innately good. But if Peter _was_ involved with it, it had to have been against his will. Remus thought that perhaps Snivelly had thought that he would be able to pick a fight with James and Sirius if-

"Here is your schedule for this year, Mister Lupin. What on earth?" Professor McGonagall had intruded upon Remus when he had least expected it. He had actually managed to fall out of his seat on the bench at the dining table, he was so startled. "Well don't just lie there, get to class!" cried Professor McGonagall.

"Sirius, are you even going to bother taking notes for Charms?" Remus asked.

Sirius seemed unconcerned. "Of course not, Moony. I already know it all. Why would I waste my time taking notes when I could daydream instead?"

Remus chuckled. "Git. I hate you."  
"Love you too, Moonster."

"Do you know what this weekend is, Padfoot?" It seemed as though Remus was getting at something.

"Why yes, my bonny lass, I do."

"What? Since when am I your 'bonny lass'?"

"Since now." Sirius grinned mischievously.

Remus thought this to be extremely bizarre. "You think we can sneak off a bit earlier to deal with my furry little problem than usual?"

"Moony, I can't believe you're actually asking if we can do something or not."

Remus did not understand at all. "What?"

Sirius, who was tipping back his chair in his desk, looked down at Remus a bit sternly and said, "Surely by now you've realized that we can do anything, Remus."

Remus pondered Sirius' oddness- such a strange package of qualities.

"Mr. Lupin, would you be so obliged as to answer the question at hand?" Professor Flitwick squeaked.

Oh dear. Remus never missed a question. He was never caught not paying attention in class. _Ever. _This was good cause to panic.

Remus began to scream under his breath with a blank look in his eyes.

_SMACK! _"Oh- Ah- Uh- I mean- Uh-" _SMACK_

"Uh- Hem. Ahem. Sorry, just needed to clear my throat Professor. What was the question again?"

"AH, so you were not paying attention to the lesson! Two points from Gryffindor. And you, a prefect." Flitwick eyed him sternly. "As I was saying, to make something fly, the best way to do it would be to make it to have wings. Take this key for example…" And he went on with his lecture.

Sirius elbowed Remus. "Hey mate, sorry about that." Sirius did not look sorry at all. He just shook out his ebony hair out so that it looked perfect. 'Such a vain boy,' thought Remus.  
Immediately following this, there was a shrill, giddy giggle from behind Sirius.

Sirius turned around slowly to see who it was. Much to Remus' surprise, Sirius whipped back about so quickly that he thought something had been thrown at Sirius, who had at this point obtained an extremely mortified look on his face.

'Ah, Sirius and his admirers,' Remus chuckled to himself.

James Potter had a free period after Charms, his first class. Naturally, so did Sirius Black. Unfortunately, their third partner in crime had to go to Arithmancy. The two had previously agreed to meet outside under the beech tree by the lake.

"Prrongsie!" cried Sirius in a high pitched singsong voice.

"Yes, Padfoot?"

"We will be making an emergency trip to Hogsmeade today."

"And why is it that we need to make said emergency trip to Hogsmeade?"

"Because I think Moony needs it. He wouldn't say anything of the sort, actually. But he needs it."

"Does Moony know that yet?"  
"What? Who said anything about telling Moony?" Sirius sounded genuinely incredulous.

"Sirius, I just want you to know that I am choosing to overlook your lapse in logic."

"Good choice, Prongsie. Which exit are we going to use? We can't get caught by Filch like last time."  
"Well, Sirius, as long as you stay quiet on the way back from the Hog's Head, we shouldn't have any problems," James looked pointedly at Sirius.

"Oh, that was one time! It's not like anybody knew about it!"

"Sirius, you lost all of your clothes. And then when I tried to cover you with something, you began to scream that this is a perfectly free country and you can eat all the Pumpkin Pasties that you want- OW! What-"

"_SHHHH!" _Sirius only looked pointedly at James and then pointed behind him.

"Professor McGonagall! What a surprise! Seeing you here! In the castle!"

"Yes, Black. I frequently spend my days here." McGonagall eyed Sirius oddly. She turned to James. "Potter, I've noticed that you haven't been wearing your badge or scheduled any Quidditch practices or tryouts this month. Do you plan on winning the Quidditch cup?"  
"Wh-what Professor?"  
"Potter, did you even look at your letter this year?"  
No response.

"Potter, you were made Quidditch Captain." She looked at James angrily. "Follow me to my office. You have got some very serious explaining to do."

Sirius followed James (at a distance of course) and stopped outside McGonagall's office to wait for James. As soon as said boy was out of her office, he slapped Sirius upside the head.

"What was that for you sod?" Sirius cried in surprise.

"For not telling me I made Quidditch Captain!"  
"How could I have known? I didn't read your damned Hogwarts letter! That's your job! That's why they address it to you!"  
"That doesn't change the fact that you read it before I do every sodding year. Now give me my Captain's badge."  
"No! After you so _rudely_ hit me, I don't think I will!"  
"Sirius, I shouldn't even be speaking to you after you so _rudely _tried to kill me with a bar of soap, or stab me with a fork yesterday, or suffocate me with a croissant at breakfast this morning-"

"Hey now, let's not go pointing fingers!"  
"Sirius, you made several attempts on my life! How is that pointing fing-"

"!"

The boys heard a first year girl scream. And she was coming towards them because the screaming was getting louder. They turned towards the sound. And… it was Peter, coming at top speed carrying a basket in his hands. Not a first year.

"Peter? What the hell are you running from?" Asked Sirius as Peter came stumbling to a halt in front of him.

"It's…" he gulped. He continued in a whisper, "It's death. Death has come for me!"

"What?" Sirius looked behind Peter and his eyes became as large as saucers. Sirius grabbed Peter's arm yelled, "RUN!"

At this, James turned around and saw a very angry looking Ravenclaw girl running towards him, her face covered with snot.

James let out a profanity and let his legs carry him away from the angry girl towards the sound of Peter's screaming.

The girl who was chasing Peter was gaining on him, but James wasn't worried about being caught. Until suddenly, he felt something hit the back of his left knee, both knees buckled, and he fell face first onto the ground. All six feet, three inches of him. On the floor. Face first.  
James' first thought was to find his glasses. He began groping around on the floor, muttering, 'I'm blind, the depraved snot monster is going to kill me, I'm completely-"

"_Reparo!_" He heard from behind him.

"GAH! Keep away you depraved snot monster!" cried James as he cowered against the wall of the corridor.

"I'm not a depraved snot monster! Do you have a tissue?"

"You're not?"  
"No, I'm not."  
"And you're not going to smear me with your mucus, which will indubitably burn a hole through the entirety of my beautiful face?"

"No, I'm not! I sneezed, that's all! Do you have a handkerchief, a tissue, anything?" The girl sounded desperate, so James started searching his pockets.

"Aha! I've got one! Here you are!" James felt the soft thing he pulled out of his pocket being taken out of his hand.

"Thank you. Here are your glasses."  
"Thanks." James donned his glasses and took a good look at the person who had handed them to him after accosting him. She was very pretty: Huge violet eyes, shiny black ringlets, fair skin. She wasn't very tall- she came up to about James' chest. He couldn't quite believe her face had been so ugly and frightening only a moment ago.

"So. You seem to know that boy I was chasing a moment ago…"

"Peter Pettigrew. Why were you chasing him? You don't seem like death."

"Death?"  
"Peter's got his own special way of embellishing things."

"Ah. I see. Well. He took something of mine, and I need it back."

"What did he take?"  
The girl sighed. "He actually took more than one thing. My muggle magazines, my hair care products, and a few of my hair clips. And right when I was running after him, I sneezed, and I almost had him, so I figured I'd keep going and clean up later. Obviously that plan backfired…"

James was startled. "Of all the things he could have taken… that was what he chose?"

The girl laughed at the face he made. "That was actually my initial question as well."

James chuckled and stuck out his hand. "James Potter. You are?"  
"Eloise Hodge. You can call me Ellie, though." The girl's smile was simply mesmerizing.

There was a few beats' silence, until a throat cleared behind James. They both started and let go of each other's hands, which they hadn't noticed was left undone until now.

James turned around and Eloise looked around James' body- quite a feat, considering how small she was.

Remus was standing there, book bag over his shoulder, eyeing James sternly. "Moony! Didn't see you there! Hah! Hullo!"  
Remus eyed James oddly, then his look changed to one of sternness as he asked, "James, is there any reason Sirius and Peter are running down the hall like frightened children?"

"Well, yes. But, ahem, there is a reason for that! And the reason is that- er- well-"

"What James is trying to say is that Peter took my things, and I was chasing him to get them back."  
Addressing Eloise now, Remus asked, "Then why have you got him and not Peter?"

"Oh, I stopped to get it so I could chase them faster. Getting James instead of Peter was actually just a lucky coincidence."

Remus just looked at James and Eloise. He seemed to be considering something. To James, he said, "Well James, I'm glad you made a friend." Then, to no one in particular, "I will just walk away from this situation, and pretend that I did not hear about it so that Sirius can make a proper field day of it later." Remus chuckled walked away around James and Eloise.

James turned back to Ellie. "Well. We should go… probably… you know… classes… where we lear-"

"Do you want to meet later?" Ellie asked abruptly.

James replied slightly dazedly, "Yeah. When? Where?"

Smiling confidently now, Ellie said, "Why don't we meet at eleven, outside under the beech tree?"

James was still dazed by her perfect smile. "Yeah. Sounds great."

"See you there, then, James." She winked and flounced away. James didn't notice, but he had been leaning towards Ellie slightly. He took a step forward to stabilize himself. James didn't mind that he would have to break his plans with Sirius to meet with Ellie... he only minded that he was to be under the beech tree at eleven oh' clock that night.

Behind him, several doors burst open and he started. Classes were out. That meant that James should probably get to his third class which was… (he checked his schedule) History of Magic.  
Perfect for daydreaming.


End file.
